December 2008
39 posts
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Laurel and Hardy had it all...
Dear Mrs. Roberts,
I wanted you to be the first to know that I am in love with you and I can’t control it. When Dave and I were kids, I used to sneak into your bedroom while you were sleeping and kiss you on the forehead. You were always so beautiful when you slept. I always hated Dave Sr. for treating you the way he did.
I thought I should be the first one to come out and say that Dave...
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Sick...
I’m a fucking skeleton
I have no soul
because i’m just bone.
Get over it.
Bitches.
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Official Declaration of Crash Cinema
1. No singular perspective. One must be willing to break the fourth wall.
2. One must feel free to express any thoughts or emotions they have, without worrying of what society may consider ‘taboo’.
3. The Filmmaker or Videomaker should be willing to live vicariously through his or her film, and be presented in front of the camera at least once during the course of shooting.
4....
‘Whiskey’s like a slap on the back, but champagne is like a mist before my eyes’ - Jimmy Stewart
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Ouija is bored...
“I killed him down by the river. He was wearing his blue vans, but the blood stained the laces. He kept trying to convince me not to kill him because he hadn’t yet seen the Dark Knight, but I didn’t give a fuck. I told him about my kidney stones and made him realize that life sucks, therefore he really shouldn’t be afraid of dying. I used a stick to bash his head in and he...
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Speaking with Adult Film Star Evette Chevette
Have you ever seen a movie and while watching it, developed such an intense crush on the main character that you feel like your heart is going to completely explode into ten thousand pieces? Now, imagine that feeling while watching a hardcore porn? Yeah…Chances are - your heart isn’t the only thing that will explode. Whoops, to much?
I first heard the name Evette Chevette from a...
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Norman Rockwell was an atheist
When I was a kid I used to fake my own death to watch people cry. One time in the sixth grade, a girl named Jessica asked a group of my friends IF they would actually cry had I died. She made all of them answer and for the most part, they are shrugged and giggled. I tried to kill myself that afternoon after school by suffocating myself with a tube sock. A re-run of Saved by the Bell was on in the...
Jenga is for suckers...
My girlfriend told me that if I didn’t have sex with her last night, she would leave me. I stayed up and watched reruns of the Nanny while she packed her bags. I don’t know what was worse.
